I'm a WHAT!
by yamiyugi23
Summary: What if during a trip to certain Springs in China that Harry, Hermione, Draco, Severus, and Sirius run into a little problem? Harry Potter has fallen into one of the Springs only to turn into a...FemHarry, Draco/Harry, sort of SS/SB/HG and pervertered.


**Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights or make any money from Harry Potter or those springs in China okay? I just write these fics to keep the plunny's from eating me up!**

**I'm a WHAT!**

**Thanks for betaing BladeMaxwell-GoddessofDeath**

"Harry!" Hermione cried out as she, Draco, Severus and Sirius gathered around the spring that Harry had fallen into.

"Oh my," the old tour guide tutted as he slowly walked over to the group, "I'm afraid that your friend has fallen into The Spring of the Drowned Girl."

"What!" Draco cried in shock, what the hell had happened to his boyfriend?

"What the hell has happened to my Godson?" Sirius cried out as he was about to throttle the tour guide.

Movement from the spring caught the group's attention, suddenly Harry popped up from under the water.

"What are you all staring at?" Harry asked, only his voice was higher then it normally was.

"Why you have fallen into The Spring of the Drowned Girl," the tour guide said as he dodged Sirius' attack and stood by Severus who seemed to be the safest option.

Harry pulled himself out of the spring water to only find himself in his boyfriend's arms.

"...Harry..." Draco said as his hands paused over Harry's chest.

The tone of Draco's voice got the other males' and Hermione's attention.

"What is it? What's wrong with my precious Godson?" Sirius cried out as he placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and began to shake Harry, "My precious Little Prongslet, whatever happens Uncle Padfoot is here for you!"

There was silence as Sirius shook Harry though as he did everyone's eyes slowly made their way towards Harry's chest, where Draco's hand had been.

"You know Harry," Sirius said as if it was the most common thing in the world, "If I wasn't gay and with Remus I'd try my chances with you, you certainly have nice breasts."

"What?" Harry cried out in shock as he felt his chest only to find the breasts.

"Like I said," the male tour guide said with a perverted look, "You fell into The Spring of the Drowned Girl making so you into a girl."

The next thing anyone knew was that the old tour guide was now up a tree unmoving while Draco stood in front of the now female Harry.

"Male or Female Harry is mine you old git," Draco growled out as the tour guide got his sense back, "You try to grope hi...her again and you'll meet something far worse than a mere tree."

In the background Sirius was cheering with Chinese flags while Hermione was doing her best to stop Severus trying to strangle Sirius.

"Is there any way to return Harry back to normal?" Severus asked once everything had calmed down as he eyed his Godson's lover.

"Nope," the tour guide said causing them all to groan.

"Just bloody great!" Harry ranted, causing the other's to flinch at the high pitch, "Just wait until we get back to England and everyone finds out! Hell I only wanted a little holiday with my lover, family and friend! But noooo! Nothing ever goes right for the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Become-a-Fucking-Girl now does it?"

Draco, having enough of his boyfriend's ranting drew the boy now girl into a deep and loving kiss.

"Don't like this at all," Harry muttered out as he and Draco hugged each other tightly.

Draco sighed, "I know love, I know, but don't worry I'm not about to leave you or anything."

"WAIT!" the tour guide cried out gaining everyone's attention, "You two boys are lovers correct?"

"Yes..." Draco said slowly as Sirius, Severus and Hermione slowly stood next to them with their wands hidden up their sleeves, "Is that a problem, Sir?"

"No! Unless you count the cure as a problem!" the tour guide said with another of his perverted looks.

"A cure?" Severus said his voice low and dangerous, "I thought that you said that there was no cure?"

"Yes well..." the tour guide said as he got out a handkerchief and wiped away the sweat that seemed to be appearing, "I didn't know all of the facts! Yes! That's it! I didn't know all of the facts until now! Now that I know all of the facts I know a way to turn Miss Potter here back into Mr. Potter."

"How?" Harry asked, finally calmed down from his rant, "How can I become male again?"

"Well, the thing is you see…" the tour guide looked around then leant forward so only Draco and Harry could hear.

"No fair," Sirius whined, "I want to listen too."

"Have you ever thought that it was meant for their ears only?" Hermione said with her hands on her hips.

Sirius pouted, "But Harry's my Godson, I should know what chaos he's causing in case I want to join in!"

Severus gave a sneer, "And you're supposed to be the mature adult here? I think that the Ministry has gotten the paper work flipped, shouldn't Potter be the Godfather and Black be the Godson?"

"Shut it you Greasy Git," Sirius said as he tried to get his wand out only to be stopped by Hermione.

"Sirius put that away," Hermione whispered furiously, "Where surrounded by Muggles, do you _want_ to go to Azkaban for a proper and just reason this time?"

"You know if you want to lose your soul you can just let me kill you off and use you for potion ingredients right?" Severus asked with a smirk.

"Snivelus, you little-"

"So use your portkey to your rooms and then make sure to lock the doors and windows and put up silencing spells," the tour guide said with a stern nod of his head.

With a nod of their heads, Draco and Harry…Harriett…disappeared without Muggles noticing thanks to the tour guide.

"Hey!" Sirius called as they had watched the two lovers disappear, "Where is my Godson!"

Severus stepped forward, "Mine as well."

The tour guide sent the trio a perverted look, "Well I sent them to their hotel room so they can get the cure for Miss Potter."

"Oh!" Hermione said in sudden understanding, "I remember the Muggle legends now, he…she…changes depending on hot or cold water!"

"Not exactly," the tour guide said with a grin as he pulled out a cam recorder, "The cure is sex between lovers…now if you excuse me I've got some porn to make and sell to a guy called Jiraya so he can make his next wonderful book, and he wants to try his hand at gay couples you know."

"Oh I don't think so," both Sirius and Severus growled out and lunged for the tour guide who used his own emergency portkey for when tourists got out of control.

"Wait what are we supposed to do?" Hermione, the only one not panicking over their precious baby Godsons having sex, "It's almost dark."

At that moment silence hit the trio; they all slowly looked at each other in shock.

"I'm sure if you explain it to the hotel staff where you're staying at they'll give you a room until the two young men finish! Have fun!"

**The End!**

**Alright, just don't ask where this one shot came from okay? Cause even I don't know *sweatdrop* Why do I have the feeling that your all glaring at me for not writing the Draco/ lemon for?**


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